It is easy being thankful on the bright sunny days. I remember on our last trip to the zoo on a warmer day in March. The winter months had been extremely cold and dreary (I despise winter). There were weeks when I longed for a warmer day outside with my babes. When that Saturday finally came, I noticed the sunshine in my daughter's hair. I noticed the brighter smiles of my children. I was thankful. I repeated over and over that day "Oh thank you Lord, for this perfect day at the zoo."
Scripture tells us that we are to be thankful for each and every situation. There have been several situations in my life where it was difficult to be thankful during dark days. The one that sticks out the most was in January, 2008. My husband had just fallen off of a roof, shattering both of his arms. I had to stay with him in the hospital because it was impossible for him to get up to go to the restroom on his own, feed himself or to even reach the nurse call button. That first night, was one of the darkest nights in my life. I remember lying on the cold green plastic chair beside his hospital bed that night. I was so so bitter. I was mad that he had fallen from that roof. I was mad that I wasn't able to rock my 14 month old baby to sleep that night. I was even mad that I was cold and sleeping on that cold recliner. Frankly, I was mad that God had allowed him to fall from that roof. My heart ached from all of the anger.
I woke up the next day, still mad. I waited on my husband hand and foot. People came and visited us in the hospital and I tried to hide my anger with a smile. People that we barely knew brought food, prayed for us and even brought us money and gift cards. Ladies volunteered to do my laundry, switch out with me so that I could spend some time with our daughter. Some that lived close to the hospital in the city even offered for me to come and nap at their homes. Nothing helped my hard, cold and angry heart.
After pastor after pastor visited with us, scripture was read to us and warm hugs swept over my body. My hard heart began to soften. On our fourth day in the hospital, my husband endured his first operation. I kissed him goodbye as tears fell off of my cheeks. Four hours later, his surgeon called to tell me that his shoulder was completely shattered and that he was lucky to be alive. "Come again, I said?" He repeated himself "Oh yes, his shoulder was shattered, and there was a piece of sharp of bone near his brachial artery. Your husband could have bled to death after his fall."
That one sentence turned my heart into mush. After that point, I began to notice the little blessings in this situation and to be thankful .
I was thankful for the man next door and for his family who sang inspirational songs as they came and went each day. I was thankful for his sister's ring tone on her phone "When the Saints Come Marching In." I was thankful for the nurse who brought me my favorite soda on more than one occasion, when I didn't even ask for it. I was thankful for the cleaning lady who came and spoke to me each day. Her smile lit up the room when my husband was knocked out from pain medication. I was thankful for our great family friend "Uncle Butch" who sat with me during each one of my husband's operations and who visited the hospital each day, sometimes allowing me to go and spend time with Addison. I was thankful for my parents caring for Addison, cleaning our home and praying for us. There were many many things that made me thankful during our 10 day hospital stay.
However, the one thing that tugged at my heart the most was one night while walking back from the cafeteria, I noticed a sign on a bulletin board.
It read:
For Sale
3 bedroom
2 bath home
Furniture Included
Must Sell due to medical illness
I went back to my room and wept. I had been so selfish. So many other people were in that hospital hurting so much more than we were. So many others were in financial trouble because of their illness. My husband was alive, he would eventually have full function of his arms. God spared his life and I was thankful.
Once I made that realization, the sun began to shine a little brighter. My husband endured physical therapy earlier than he anticipated. He pushed himself to make a complete recovery, and even though it was a rough road and a long recovery. I am thankful that we endured those dark days. It made our marriage stronger, it made our home life a little sweeter and life is better because of it.
"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
