Warning Lights...

A few months ago, I started my car and the dashboard lights lit up like normal, but I noticed that one light did not go away. Brushing it off, I put the car in drive and suddenly a loud dinging sound came. I was alarmed, but I also know nothing about cars. I put the car into park, turned it off and counted to 3. I started the car again and the light went off and there was also no dinging sound. I called my husband who said that he would come by and look at my car before driving home that afternoon. The car checked out fine to him, so he said that we would simply "keep an eye on it."

A week later, the entire thing happened again, but my method of turning the car off and counting to 3 before restarting it worked again, so I continued to brush this off. I got my oil checked a few weeks later and everything seemed okay with my car, so I brushed all of these signals off as "old age" and continued about my business.

A couple of months go by and the warning light  is now doing this daily. Every morning when the car is started, the light is going off, but just first thing in the morning. It becomes really annoying, but my husband is now checking everything a couple of times per week, all seems well. It's just frustrating. He continues to nag me to take it into the dealership, but I greatly despise having a huge car repair bill, the car is getting older and I'm just waiting for the right deal on the perfect one. This one runs just fine...as long as the annoying dinging sound doesn't drown out the music!

My method of turning the car off and then on again is working just fine, until one weekend we are vacationing in Chattanooga and it happens. The dinging and the sensors begin going off while the car is driving on an interstate. I'm panicked. I'm on an interstate, no exit nearby in the center lane of 6 lanes of traffic. The dinging erupts into a loud ekkkkkkkk!!!! It's definitely drowning out the music. Sweat begins to form on my neck as I prepare for my VW to explode. We finally pull off of the interstate. My husband assumes that the oil is low and he begins to add oil, into whatever holds oil in the car (seriously, I'm clueless about cars)! We start the car up and all is well. No dinging. No warning light.

The next morning, my husband kindly goes out before breakfast to get the oil and stuff moving , so that we could avoid the nagging questions from my parents and sister about what's going on with our car. He even goes above and beyond to look for an oil leak under the car and lays down on the pavement. All checks out well. We go on about our adventures and mid drive to our first destination, the light and sensors all go hay wire again! This. Is. Insane.

The lights and sensors are going off all weekend long. Thankfully we have avoided all of the nagging questions though. We are constantly lagging behind the group to re start our car at gas stations, fast food restaurants and just praying that we make it home in the VW on Sunday. However, even despite the warning light and the illuminating sensor, the car seems to be running just fine.

On the way home, when the sensor erupts in the loud squeal one more time, my husband says "Oh, I wonder if your antifreeze is low!" We had assumed that it was always the oil level (seriously, we're not car geniuses by any means). We drive the rest of the way home, arriving safely. When we get home, he jumps out, raises the hood and notices that indeed my antifreeze level is very low. He fills it up, starts the car and everything is fine. The light or sensor has not gone off since.

This all reminds me of a time, about a year ago when I had "warning lights" going off in my life. I was getting angry and frustrated at everything around me. Granted, this was during a very stressful season of my life. We had just began to plant our church, my Grandmother was in her last days on Earth, both of my children were beginning new schools and the juggling of childcare, working and my husband's business were getting the best of me. However, little things and big things were making me very emotional! I wore my emotions all over all of me!

Everything came to a head one day when I received a card in the mail from my precious mentor, Debbie. It was a simple card, but she wrote that she was praying for me, that she noticed that I was on edge and that we needed to have coffee soon. We sat down a couple of evenings later and I unloaded everything that I was going through. I ugly cried. I talked for 20 minutes straight about all of the stress and pain that I was going through. I told her that life wasn't fair. I told her that I had no purpose. I sobbed and she listened.

After I had nothing else to say, she deeply encouraged me to keep hanging on "even if it was by the hem of his garment". She reassured me of all of the gifts that God had blessed me with. She told me that she loved me, but she encouraged me that I needed to remain in the scriptures, especially during these challenging times. I told her that I didn't have time to be in the scriptures, that life was too chaotic right now. Her eyes got big and she grabbed my hands as her mouth opened half way. She said "you have got to be in the scriptures now, more than any other time!" "God has a purpose and a plan for you and you have got to remain in the scriptures! No matter how crazy your life is, keep your eyes on him because he is your consistency!" "He is constant and you can go through anything when you remain in him." Debbie and I finished our coffee and hugged goodbye. I had another ugly cry on the drive home.

The next morning it was so hard to get back into the swing of doing my quiet time on a daily basis. It had been since our beach vacation, a couple of weeks beforehand, which felt like a year ago. I fumbled, but eventually I settled on the First 5 study of Psalms. I got my journal out and prayed. It still felt awkward, but I promised Debbie that I would again get into my groove. The next morning it felt less awkward and before the week had ended, I was back into my old groove. And life felt more peaceful, even though things had gotten more crazy. My Grandmother was not expected to make it through the weekend and my children were to start school on Monday. I clung to my Bible and devotional throughout the weekend and time at the nursing home. I am not sure how I would have made it through without them. When Nanny passed on Monday, my journal was with me.

I am so thankful for the friends who know that they can rub you with sandpaper and see that by doing that, they are making you new.

xoxo

Happy Birthday America : 4th of July recap

We had a great 4th of July this year! The day was filled with lots of good food, time with sweet friends and memories!

We began the day by hosting brunch for one of our favorite families who moved away 2 years ago to a state 17 hours away!  We were thrilled months ago when they told us that they were coming back for a visit! Amber and I have remained in touch and our kids loved playing together ! We were heartbroken when they moved away and I loved picking back up right where we left off!

I was just sad that I didn't get the sweetest pictures ever of my kids making brunch with their Dad. It was adorable seeing Finn making waffles and Addison frying bacon! They were occupied all morning  and they loved it! My husband frequently talks of helping his Dad make breakfast on the weekends growing up, so it was so sweet seeing him teach our children the same thing.

Their sweet friends seemed to really enjoy the brunch as well. We had a total of 7 kids and 4 adults. I love hosting sweet families!!  But, all good things must come to an end and it was time for their departure. We are hoping to travel and see them next!

Later that evening, we gathered with many of the families from our small group at our friends Alan and Taryn's home. They have a swimming pool, so my kids were so excited!  For most of the evening, the kids swam around and Taryn was in the pool with all of them. I really wish that I had gotten a picture!

We had a wonderful time together! We laughed, shot off fireworks and ate a lot of good food!

My sweet Finn and Avery! Avery didn't want to hear the fireworks, so Alan helped her out with some noise cancellation headphones! I asked Finn to stand beside her, to compare height and he put his hand around her little waist. These two are very sweet together! Finn was so excited because his Papaw bought him his own bag of fireworks to share!

I love these sweet friends! Taryn and I have been friends for about 4 years now and we talk several times per day! Heather is also a very sweet friend! She and I met last year when our boys were playing basketball. She and her sweet family began attending our church and we have been in small group together ever since! I am so excited because she and her family will be living less than 5 minutes away from us soon!

I hope that everyone else had a blessed 4th of July! We are so blessed to live in the land of the free and the home of the brave! 

7 Year Old Boys and Big Boy Bikes...

So...over the weekend this kid turned 7 years old (and it breaks my heart, but that is a post for another day).

Not only did he turn 7, but it was time for him to move up to the big boy bike. The one where he can take the training wheels off and ride like the big kid that he actually is. He saw his gift and he was determined to ride like a champ.

So, we headed off to the lake in our town. The one with the beautiful scenery and the paved path around it. A perfect place to stroll and ride your new wheels. I wasn't sure if he could endure the entire 2+ miles around the lake, but the kid was determined...as long as it involved avoiding getting "duck poop on the wheels" (his words,  not mine...but I totally understand)!

The stroll was going well, he was riding like a champ. Stopping to occasionally let his Dad and I catch up and we had no duck poop on the wheels. We had avoided any and all collisions with people, ducks and dogs. Until....the last half mile.

Apparently, the kid began to get a little over confident. We were about to walk down another hill and we gently encouraged him to use the brakes because he wasn't used to so much speed.  Finn and his bike took a tumble right in front of an elderly lady, who I really thought was going to cry herself when the tears began to pour down Finn's face. After assuring both of them that he was fine (there was no blood), he hopped back up on the bike and began to pedal at a slower pace.

Several yards later, Finn hit an unexpected dip in the pavement and the bike turned left and tumbled out of Finn's control. It looked bad, but Finn was laughing and the words "that was awesome" came out of his mouth. Until...he saw the blood. Then...oh the tears, the screams. Red blood was coming out of both knees and one elbow. And of course because I think that everything is going to go perfectly, I stood there with no band aids and one crumbled tissue. Drying the blood on a bench Finn sobbed "I'm never riding that bike again because it always just wrecks me!"

I thought of my own plans for my life and all of the hardships that I have endured in recent seasons. So many times I have had big dreams, but when things have not gone my way or when my plans seem to hurt me I too slam my bike down and say "never again". Because even in our minds, we do not take account that things will go any way other than perfectly. My plans have just "wrecked me" so many times. But thankfully

                                                          "his ways are not our ways"
                                                                                   Isaiah 55:8

When our plans seem to wreck us, we have to cling to the faith that sometimes God has something better in mind. Or, he may be waiting for us to call out to him to accomplish his plans for our life. When we see that we can not do it all on our own and we need the strength from the Heavenly Father, He gets the glory. We were created for Him to receive all glory because He is all powerful and mighty.

So, just like Finn did just moments later. We can hop back on our bike, even though it's scary after such a big fall. We can ride with confidence that he has got us every step of the way and we can finish the path around the lake.

I Still Remember the Days that I Prayed for Friends...

To my friends who are pictured here and those whos pictures I did not have room for...I am so thankful to have you in my life! xoxo

I still remember the day. I was a young 20 something who was married with a toddler, who had finally gotten down for a nap. I was on top of the world. I quickly jumped on social media to do a quick scroll and that is where my heart instantly sunk. My "friends" or the people who I thought were my closest friends had all gotten together for dinner the night prior. As I scanned the faces the hot tears came to my eyes and quickly streamed down my face. I had been uninvited and forgotten about once again.

Looking back, I can think of a hundred different reasons as to why I was uninvited in that season in my life. My life was so much different than theirs in those days. I chose a different path of life. I chose to get married at the young age of 20, trading dance clubs for cook books and home decorating. I also chose to move an hour away from our home town and also having a baby at the age of 23 when many of my friends were not even married yet. But in that moment, the sting of being uninvited stung  and aside from my husband and chubby cheeked baby, I felt alone.

I desired for true genuine friendship. Not the kind where I felt that I was constantly begging someone to have dinner with me. I desired people in my life who wanted to rejoice with me in times of excitement and weep with me during times of sorrow. I wanted to lift people up when they were down and celebrate with them during times of excitement...or even for surviving a Monday!

While the tears were still rolling off of my face, I began to pray for friends.  True, genuine friendship. I also prayed for a mentor, someone aside from my mother who was a generation older who would point me to Christ and who would also pray for me (I also specifically asked for someone who enjoyed shopping and I'm here to tell you that God was showing off when He answered this request!)

My friends did not appear overnight. The outings and invitations did not come before the next weekend, but I continued to pray that God would bless me with friendships. I knew that God did not want me to be alone. I also knew that if He put the desire of friendship on my heart that He would bless me with friends in His timing.  God does not want us to be alone on this road called life. He wants us to have people in our lives who point us to Christ and to help us when life gets tough. 

By yourself you're unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Ecclesiastes 4:12 MSG

One by one...God began to answer my requests. I still remember some of the first outings that I was invited on. I would  mark the day on my calendar and circle it in red. Change clothes 2 or 3 times for an evening coffee gathering. I was so excited that people actually wanted to spend time with ME!!

I know that finding friends and a Godly mentor was not by coincidence. God put sweet friendships into my life for a purpose. I treasure the friendships that I have and I pray that they will continuously progress to exalt Him and His glory. God put divine people into my life for "such a time as this" (Esther 4:14 ) to accomplish His will and purpose. The divine friendships have lifted me up during times of need, brought me joy and happiness. I have also been blessed when I have been able to bless a friend with the gift of my presence or during a time of need. 

Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone. Ephesians 1:12 MSG

Friday Favorites!!

Happy Friday loves!!

I have been waiting for you for sooo long! On Tuesday, I declared that it had been the longest week ever!

I have been waiting to share a few favorites with you, so let's get started!!

Favorite #1.... Bolt Farm Treehouse

https://www.boltfarmtreehouse.com/book-a-stay

Husband and I were recently blessed to have attended the Needtobreathe concert in the city (on a school night..special thanks to awesome Grandparents for letting us feel like rebels)!! Anywho.... one of the band members has created a few luxury tree houses in SC for couples to get away. This is NOT camping....or GLAMPING even!  This is just fabulousness! The treehouses are absolutely stunning, complete with gorgeous rustic decor. The best part is that you will have no choice but to unplug because there is NO internet access!! 

I really hope to book a stay soon..for next year! Because they book over a year in advance!! 

Favorite #2.....Mentionables

https://shopmentionables.com/collections/babydolls/products/lacy-back-babydoll-violet

Because what are you planning on wearing while in a gorgeous treehouse with your husband??

I discovered Mentionables on Facebook and I am now a part of their VIP Group! Ha! I love that the lingerie is absolutely gorgeous and when shopping, it is completely model free. Everything is modeled on a mannequin. So...there is no comparing yourselves to the models! They specialize in bra's, panties, lingerie and even adorable pajamas!

Favorite #3..... Cute Easter t shirts

Changing the subject just a bit, but.... Peter Cottontail is on his way!!!

https://www.etsy.com/listing/671729613/easter-shirt-boy-boy-easter-shirt-boy?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=kids+Easter+Fashion&ref=sc_gallery-1-4&plkey=507eb16011515a3c36ffca609392f05c3d7df565%3A671729613&col=1

My kids are getting older, but I still love cute holiday shirts, even if I don't get by with it as much as I used to. I am not sure that I am going to get by with it for Easter (Finn insisted on wearing a hoodie over his Valentines Day shirt this year....boo) But, it is still fun to look!


I am praying that you all have a fabulous weekend. I plan on enjoying my last Saturday of sleeping in and freedom....before I become a soccer Mom next weekend!

xoxo!

Adventures in Church Planting....

It is funny how some things turn out... I am now 35 years old and I am doing something that means so much to me, but yet was never on my bucket list.

Facebook has such sweet , but haunting memories sometimes. Some are cherished baby pictures of my sweet cherubs covered in spaghetti from 6 years back, but some are the painful scriptures and quotes that I posted just one year ago when I was just trying to survive each day. I survived "church hurt". Church, the place where lives are forever changed where people meet Jesus. Church, where two souls join together in holy matrimony and begin their lives together. The two words together make me gasp...church hurt.

Last year, my world forever changed when my husband and I decided that it was time for us to leave the church that brought life into my world. I was shattered. Many people did not know how to sympathize with me. And I only found a hand full of people who really knew how shattered I really was. One was a friend of a friend,  who heard about my story. She herself grew up in ministry and she looked at me and said..."So, your husband lost his job and you lost your church?" As I choked out a muffled "Yes." She sympathetically shook her head and said "it's just not supposed to be that way is it?" So, at this season I really feel like I could have benefited from counseling, but yeah...my husband lost his job, and counseling takes money. So....there's that... It left me to have some intense prayer time usually on the way to the office, sometimes my prayers would be screaming fits with me banging on the steering wheel. But I know that God knows me better than I know myself, so honesty is perfectly acceptable...

But in the midst of the pain, we knew that we were doing what God had called us to do...as painful as it was. We just did not see what that plan exactly was at the moment. We later see that God was simply calling us to take a vacation and to rest, because there were bigger adventures ahead. I picture us on a whitewater rafting trip (not that I've actually ever done that, but I've heard stories and I watch movies). But the adventure begins on some medium size rapids and the people are having their time of their life! The rapids cease and the people are ready to conquer their next set of rapids, but the guide instructs them to rest while they can because the next season of rapids are bigger and stronger...   But the people don't want to rest, they just had the time of their life and they're ready to get moving! But all they can do is sit and wait until the boat makes it to the next stage of the river...

Slowly, that season in the river began to take place in the Summer of 2018. My husband always knew that he was called to be a shepherding pastor (the one that you call in the midst of a crisis, the pastor that will sit with you all night in the hospital when you're loved one is taking their last breaths and the one that you call when God is calling you to make a life altering decision or the one who organizes community groups and different ministries inside of the church). My husband always wanted to be a part of a team of pastors because "where two or more are gathered"... It was interesting on the first Sunday that 60+ people decided that they wanted to be a part of something different found themselves in the basement of a local Country Club.

60+ people who had also been "church hurt". People from all different walks of life, different economic backgrounds, different races, people who had traveled from different counties, people who had been homeless or addicted to drugs, people who had no one else. Everyone showed up and the unique thing is, is that God orchestrated a praise team, people who were gifted with children's ministry, people who were gifted with hospitality. God brought us all together to love on each other, to become family to one another and to make disciples. God knew that we wanted to be a church who were accepting of everyone, that we did not want to look down on anyone just because they sin differently than we do. We just wanted to point them to Christ, no matter what! Suddenly, donations began pouring in. People from near and far heard that we were planting a church and they donated money, 300 chairs were donated, sound equipment, children's ministry supplies, offering baskets (because for the first 2-3 months we passed baseball caps or Rubbermaid tubs to collect the offering) and everything that we may need was donated.

It has been almost 9 months since that first Sunday and we are still going strong. On Christmas Eve, we met for the first time at our newly leased location for a Candlelight service. We had hoped that 20 people would show up, but almost every seat was filled. Since the very first service of Haywood Community Church, we have doubled in attendance! 3/4 of our church is involved with a small group and we have 50 children registered in the Children's Ministry.

The unique thing is, is that I have learned that my addiction to Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram was sort of a blessing in disguise. I have been blessed to be in charge of the social media and soon to be blog for the church! Looking back in my journals from December, 2017 I saw an entry where I asked God to please open the door for me to be able to write more and to spend time with my family more. I know that God answered that prayer. I also know that God never wastes a hurt. He wants to restore you. And he always replaces things that he takes away with better things!

Messy Houses....

Not very long ago, I left my messy house on a Saturday morning to help out a friend. I left my countertops sticky from the mornings breakfast, unfolded laundry on the kitchen table, bathroom sinks with toothpaste stuck on the sides. I felt torn leaving behind my mess, but yet knowing that my friend was in need of a friend and some conversation for a couple of hours.

I pulled into the driveway of the house so perfect on the outside that it could easily grace the cover of Southern Living thinking about how wonderful it would be to watch my kids ride their bikes on such a perfect driveway. Life on the outside of their home seemed perfect, complete with birds chirping away on a beautiful Saturday morning.

I opened the door to hearing the shriek of children fighting over toys, unfolded laundry graced the living room furniture and dirty dishes filled the sink. I immediately smiled to myself and felt relieved that I was not the only one with a little bit of craziness.

My friend and the messiness of her home ministered to my heart in so many ways. I immediately felt grateful that she did not feel like she had to "clean up" before I came over. She could have stuffed laundry in various places and led me to believe that "everything was perfect", but yet she let her guard down and let me know that she was real and it is okay to be real in front of others. 

During our visit, the most amazing thing happened as our children happily played outside together. She continued to clean and I began to fold laundry. In an hour her home looked completely different. I realized that during the messes of our lives, if you roll up your sleeves and I roll up my sleeves to help each other out and hold each other accountable, things get better a lot faster. She assured me that it is okay to accept help from others, no matter what kind of mess that we are in.  My friend contacted me later that day and said "Thank you so much for all that you did!  I am amazed that we got so much accomplished!"

The mess of messy houses teaches me so much about the love of Christ. So many think that we have to clean ourselves up before we come to Christ, get our act together before attending a local church body. But it is quite the opposite. Christ wants us to come to him as we are. Not as what we hope to one day be. Specifically, when we are living in sin, no matter the sin his love draws us near and through his love , together we clean up our mess.