We were all having fun, opening gifts when we realized that although we had searched high and low for Finn's perfect nerf gun, we forgot the batteries. Finn being totally oblivious played with the nerf gun without batteries and all of his other toys. However, the tension that set in the room was obvious. My kids began to notice the shift in my husband's demeanor and began to question "what's wrong with Dad?" Because depression and anxiety doesn't pick when it shows up. It doesn't pick the way that the people around you are affected. You just deal with it, the best way that you can.
Instead of telling my kids the usual "nothing's wrong, everything is fine." I chose to say "you guys, Dad is dealing with some things....Dad is sad. It is not because of us. He is just really sad with his life right now, but he is happy with us. We can't do anything to help Dad except to love him and to pray for him." My children are amazing and accepted this "surprise gift" amazingly well. It was so much better than just pushing it under the rug as we had frequently done.
In our counseling sessions we learned that we often times need to tell our kids the honest truth. Kids need to know that life isn't always perfect. Or fair. Or happy. Doing so, we will point them to the ways that they should react when life throws them lemons.
As my husband and I had some quiet time moments later, he said "I'm sorry that I ruined Christmas" and I replied "you didn't ruin Christmas." It was only a bad moment on Christmas Day, that turned out beautifully.
Sometimes we all need to remember that we all have bad moments, bad days and bad pages within our chapters. Being honest and transparent with those around you allows yourself to open up to others and allows them to effectively be there for you during your challenging moments.
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