Unprepared...

On Monday after a busy day at the office, I made my trek to the grocery store.  However, I did not have my reusable bags, I did not have my coupons or even my grocery list.  I knew that we needed many things, but I just wasn't sure what...

I retrieved my cart and stood on the first isle.  People were whizzing by me, on a mission.  Everyone knew exactly what they needed, except me.  I was unprepared.  I began and picked up a package of Kit Kats and Reese Cups, then chips, ice cream and sugary cereal.  I made my way to the meat section and thought...what should we have for dinner each night?  People made their way in front of me, eager to retrieve what they needed and make their way back home to their families.  I settled on a frozen pizza and a package of hot dogs.

My family suffered because I was unprepared for my grocery store trip.  Sure, I provided food for them, they will surely not starve on their ice cream, sugary cereal and kit kat's. However, I did not make the best choice for them.  If I had been prepared, I would have clipped my coupons, made my list and taken inventory of what was already in our pantry prior to my grocery store endeavor.

The same thing happens when I am not prepared for my day.

I know that the best thing that I can do in the morning is to spend my time with God, first thing in the morning.

"We must exchange whispers with God before shouts with the world."

--Lysa TerKuerst

I know that I am like a sponge.  Whatever is placed in me first thing in the morning will be squeezed out throughout the day.  When I look at my bank account, my facebook account or even my Pinterest  account before having my quiet time alone with God, I know that I will find myself more anxious and emotional throughout the day.  I find that I will make quick decisions, that will negatively affect me as I go throughout the day.

However, when I take the time to prepare for my day, to have the quiet conversations with God and to read his word, I can expect that my sponge will overflow with the love of my Heavenly Father.  I can expect that I will be slow to anger and slow to speak and that His love may be able to drip down onto those around me.

So, I strive to stay away from picking up my phone until my devotion is done.  So, that God and I can have the quality time together that we need...Otherwise, I may look like a porky pine when the day is over...covered in quills.

Lessons That I learned While My Toes Were In the Sand...

About two months ago my family and I traveled to Florida for our Spring Break vacation.  While we were there we spent time with my in laws, traveled to Lego Land and spent time with the family that we see about twice per year.  I really enjoyed leaving our bitterly cold climate to be somewhere warm and sunny.  I utterly despise winter and this past winter seemed to drag on and on...

On our first full day we traveled to Sand Key Beach.  It's a beautiful beach, not overly crowded, but the water is still clear and you can find unique shells.  There are no hotels on the beach, so you have to use the public facility near the parking deck.  Being that I was there with both of my children, I frequently visited the public restroom.

On one of my many treks to the restroom, I got closer and saw an elderly couple sitting on a bench at the entrance of the beach.  They were both very frail, her hair was a beautiful shade of snow white, but their eyes were bright.  They were both smiling as he sat with his arm around her, they were still in love after who knows how many years.  As I walked closer to them, I noticed that he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek!  It was by far, one of the most adorable things that I have ever seen.  I so badly wanted to capture this moment on camera.

I thought a lot about this couple as the day went on.  I still want to be  madly in love with my husband when I am old and gray.  I hope that he is still in love with me when he is old and gray!  I hope that we share the same dreams and passions as the years stretch ahead of us.  I know that Satan does not want us to be happy and in love.  Satan still tries to grab our attention and to destroy our marriage.  Marriage is hard work, and I feel that I have to compromise and bite my tongue daily for the better of my marriage.

I think back to our first couple of years of marriage. I think of the little white house that we lived in.  I recently told my husband "I have very few good memories of our time in our first home."  A few of the good memories include the evening where my husband proposed to me, being carried over the threshold after coming home from our honeymoon and the day that I told my husband that he was going to be a Father.  And that's pretty much it....

I remember on two different occasions packing all of my belongings and attempting to leave my husband.  Thankfully, on both occasions  my dog refused to get into the car with me & I refused to leave her behind.  One time I left anyway and made it a whole mile before returning (I'm still not sure if I came back for my husband or my dog...hehe).  There were many nights where we slept in separate bedrooms on different sides of the house. Many afternoons spent arguing over finances, chores and who knows what that drove my husband to squeeling his tires as he flew out of our driveway.

There was one tearful conversation with my group of friends at a restaurant, when I was convinced that I was going to leave my husband for good.  They told me that "It  wasn't too late to find someone else", "Some things just aren't meant to be" and "I had just made a mistake".  They even named several names of eligible bachelors that I could call up after this thing was over.

However, something inside me knew that I couldn't throw into the towel this easily.  Deep down I knew that God had a beautiful plan for my marriage.  My husband and I finally agreed to attend marriage counseling with the same counselor that did our marriage counseling two years prior.  We went to counseling each week, but more than that we began to pray for our marriage.    We began to put the needs of each other, prior to the needs of ourselves.  After we were convinced that we were not going to get a divorce, we vowed that we would never say the word "divorce" again.

A couple of days after seeing the sweet elderly couple on the beach, I noticed a young couple on the beach, obviously on their honeymoon.  They were cute too!  I watched both of them struggle with assembling their small umbrella (it was pretty pitiful watching them, Spunky almost went up and asked them if he could help them).  After their umbrella was standing and in the sand, we watched the husband perfectly position his new bride's chair under the umbrella.  They then slathered each other in sun block and then they realized....they only had one chair.  I could see both of them saying "No honey, you take the chair." "No you"  "Well I insist, you take the chair."  What I really wanted to do is steal this new bride away for a couple of minutes and say "Listen honey, he's going to drive you nuts down this long road, please have patience with him, forgive him when he doesn't deserve it, love, honor and support him and above everything else...pray for your marriage."

Feet away, I noticed that chairs were being brought in on this Tuesday afternoon, a back drop was being assembled and people in Sunday clothes were being ushered onto the beach.  Then I saw her, she was beautiful!  A bride who looked like a life like Barbie's twin sister wearing a beautiful cream gown was playing on the shore while a photographer snapped picture after picture of her.  I thought, honey when you say those words in a few minutes "for better or for worse, please understand that for worse sometimes means staying with him in the hospital for 10 nights after he's fell off a roof and broke both of his arms and you have to do everything (and I mean everything) for him while he re cooperates."

A few days ago, I had a dear friend say to me "You're my inspiration to staying married...you have everything together."  Friend, trust me when I say, I DO NOT have it all together.  I have to work on my marriage daily, sometimes every second.  However, the secret to my marriage is going to the Father in each situation.  We must rejoice to Him in the good times and cling to him during the bad times.