Nothing Less...

Several weeks ago I was on my lunch break at the office when I saw a dear friend calling me. It is so unusual when I see someone actually calling me (doesn't everyone always text)?!? Anyway, I instantly jumped to my feet and began making my way to my car for privacy. I answered the call to hear my sweet friend sobbing on the other end.

She proceeded to tell me that she had received a phone call from school. Her sweet child had made a wrong decision. My friend was devastated. She and her husband had always done their best to instill good values and morals into their children. We frequently prayed for our children together, praying that they would be Christ like, caring and generous people. My sweet friend was taking her child's decision to heart, fearing that she had done something wrong.

I consoled my sweet friend, wishing that we could be meeting face to face over a warm cup of coffee instead of over the phone. I prayed with her and assured her that we can only do the best that we can do while parenting our children, praying for them, surrounding them with a good community and helping them. Ultimately, our children still have the freedom of choice and it is up to them which path to choose.

Days later, I called my sweet friend to check in. She mentioned that they of course discussed the wrong decision and punished their child. What struck me most about this decision was that she said "Keisha, before we spoke about the decision and the consequences, I explained to my child that we do not love them any less for the decision that they have made."

This struck me really hard, I thought about the past year and all of the ups and down's that I have had. I have seen myself pull closely to my Heavenly Father and I have seen myself pull back. I have noticed God wooing my heart, yearning to hold me closely and I have turned my back over and over. Through all of this, knowing that even with all of my sin and "wrong decisions" God does not love me any less. Yet, he continues to woo my heart, placing beautiful sunrises with pink clouds across the sky, the beautiful orange and red leaves turning each day and the loud giggles of laughter from my children as I enter my house after a long day of work. All of these things wishing that I would reach out to him.

Knowing that the Heavenly Father loves me and wants me through all of my pitfalls and failures makes me run to Him faster and makes me continuously aware of His presence in my life. It calls me to seek others who want to have the same love and peace in their lives, and to share His love with them.

Control

By: Tenth Avenue North

I've had plans
Shattered and broken
Things I have hoped in
Fall through my hands
You have plans
To redeem and restore me
You're behind and before me
Oh, help me believe

God You don't need me
But somehow You want me
Oh, how You love me
Somehow that frees me
To take my hands off of my life
And the way it should go,

One month in Heaven....

It has been exactly one month ago today since I held the hand of my sweet "Nanny" , sang "Amazing Grace" and watched her breathe her last breath.  

It seems like an eternity and 5 minutes ago all at the same time.

Nanny lived each day with wisdom and grace, teaching us more about having joy in the midst of hard times, loving each other and holding close to the Heavenly Father through everything.

I have a million and two memories of my Grandparents, especially since they lived exactly the next driveway up from my childhood home. They had the best driveway, the one with the perfect hill and perfect mudpuddles to jump in on a warm summer day after a summer shower. I learned to ride my bike in that  driveway and spent many afternoons on their porch swing "breaking beans" and shucking corn.

My favorite memories though, are of the everyday mundane when Nanny and Papaw would both stand at the sink and wash dishes. They never had a dishwasher and they never spoke a harsh word about one another. I can still see Nanny washing the saucers and coffee cups and Papaw rinsing and drying each piece.

I think that I have learned the most about love and marriage by watching my Grandparents. They gave their all for each other, truly cared about one another and constantly put the needs of each other before their own. They were also rarely seen anywhere without one another. They completed one another.

During Nanny's final years on Earth, she searched long and hard for Papaw.  She wanted to be with him so badly and she wept for him. It was so hard and heartbreaking. 

So tonight, we will not weep because we miss her so badly, but we rejoice that she is now with her love and the creator of her soul.

Sticky Table...

A few months ago I realized how much my soul missed ministering to women.  At our previous church, I was blessed to serve on the Women's Ministry team and I taught the Uninvited Bible Study in late 2017.  I loved meeting with the ladies each week to hear their hearts, pray with them and see their lives transform into little sponges soaking up the scriptures each week.

I yearned to lead the Rachel and Leah study by Nicki Koziarz, but I did not see how I could possibly lead a study because A: I still did not have a home church

                                  B: I did not have an abundance of time

                                  C: I did not have a place to meet

However, God would not allow me to rest until I finally committed to leading the study. I wrestled with who should I invite, where we should meet and when we should meet. I heard God whisper, you have a home and you have Facebook friends.  So, one day I put the idea on Facebook that I was starting a Bible Study at my home, meeting every other Tuesday evening and whoever was interested could come and invite a friend or two.

I was so nervous the next week for Tuesday.  I arranged child care, swept my floors and prayed for things to go as best as they could as possible. When Tuesday evening came, my home was filled with 5 ladies.  We came together, prayed and enjoyed hugs and the beginnings of new friendships.

The Rachel and Leah study came and went and the next thing I know is more ladies are approaching me about doing other studies. I thought that this would be a one time thing, but the ladies wanted to continue doing Bible Studies throughout the summer months as well! I was completely blown away!  

After much prayer, Sticky Table Ministries was formed.  Yes, sticky table.  I decided upon this name because Lysa TerKeurst has been such an inspiration to me and my coming to know Christ.  I remember thinking that I could relate to her because her biography often states that she "writes from her sticky farm table".  I also have a farm table and it is often sticky from the syrup of the 6 year old who loves waffles and bacon for breakfast each day.  

I also decided this name because my home is not perfect, nor will it ever be.  I try to keep my home clean, but lets face it with a husband, 2 kids and a cat and with our crazy schedule...we do the best that we can. I have told the ladies that my home is filled with love and good memories. When they are in my home on Tuesday evenings I desire to love on them, pray for them and encourage them to be a little closer to the Heavenly Father when they leave.

We are about to complete our latest study, "Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl" by Lysa TerKeurst and we are looking forward to the next one. Sticky Table ministries is open to any lady who desires studying God's word, friendship and community.

**Graphic courtesy of Proverbs 31 Ministries

Plugging Back In...

My family and I just returned from our annual beach vacation. During our time away, we took a much needed break from all social media and it was fabulous! Don't get me wrong, there are all kinds of great things going on on social media.  However, I am guilty of plugging away too much time on social media and not enough time with the people in front of my face and my creator above.

My family and I were unsure that our beach vacation would happen this year.  I am so thankful that our Heavenly Father knew and heard my prayers as I began to pray and ask that He would provide the perfect place for our vacation.  It was obvious that His fingerprints were all over our vacation condo.

His presence and his fingerprints were evident in each and every room. It could have been more perfect or obvious that my family and I were meant to be in this very condo. My specific prayers were truly answered as we had perfect weather, no jellyfish stings (jellyfish were terrible and many people got stings) and Finn even learned how to swim!

We got out of our box and tried something new....deep sea fishing!

We also enjoyed just relaxing on the balcony, excellent sea food and shopping!

I especially loved spending lots of time with these two!  I love being silly with my family!

I am so thankful that God created beach days!

Until next time...

Resisting the Pruning

This post is dedicated to a few special people.... to Kari for the blessing of the computer and for believing in my dreams. Also to Jim and Debbie, thank you for believing in me, encouraging me, for your constant prayer and for all of the blessings....including my sanctuary! I would not be blogging tonight if it were not for all of you! Much love and blessings!

 

Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. John 15:2 ESV

It happens each year. I anxiously await the buds of my Rhododendron bushes to pop. The bushes line my driveway and surround my front porch. When the buds begin to pop and reveal their bursts of color, I can trust that again a new season of Spring is on the horizon. The cold dark days of winter are over. 

However, I am always saddened that it seems that their colorful blossoms seem to drop quicker than it takes them to bloom. A couple of spring showers leave their blossoms over the driveway and others are picked by the chubby fingers of a now 6  year old boy and placed in plastic cups around our home.

When all of the blossoms have dropped, I always drive up to the same scenario.  My husband, the gifted landscaper cutting away the limbs that once held the beautiful existence of the first sign of Spring. My heart always breaks to know that it will be many months before my heart leaps for joy for their beauty to be revealed. I argue each year, that he is making the Rhododendron's "look ugly" and that he is pruning them way too early.  He always reassures me that this is the best time to prune because "you must prepare for the next season's bloom", and it must be "the right time."

Looking back at the past several months, I can say that this has been the season in my life has been the season of pruning. God has taken away dead, weightless branches that did not bear fruit and he has pruned other branches, so that during the next season they will bear more fruit.  While this process has been downright painful at times, I have also learned to not resist the pruning shears. For I know that my Heavenly Father is making me into something that could not have happened without the proper pruning.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

I have felt all of the emotions during the past 6 months. Really. Every. Single. Emotion. On the day that my husband called me on the way home from work and told me that he had been pulled into a meeting at church and his position was cut due to budget cuts. Can I tell you the first emotion that I felt? Relief. Granted, that emotion only lasted 2 seconds, quickly followed by anger, sadness and fear. But for 2 seconds I felt relief.  You see, I had prayed for 2 years for a prayer to be answered and in that moment it made complete sense why God had not answered my prayer. Prior to that moment,  I felt that he was allowing good things to happen to everyone around me, but that he had forgot about my prayer.  However, He knew that my husband's position would be eliminated. He also knew that he needed to keep me where I was because our problems would have been so much greater if He would have answered my prayer in the way in which I wanted.

However, I wish that I could tell you that during this 6 months I have kept my composure, good attitude and encouraged others that God is doing good things even when we cannot see it, but sadly I have not. I have failed miserably at that. I have wallowed in my pain. I have wrestled with God. I have been completely and utterly honest that I was really really mad and I couldn't believe that a good God was allowing this to happen. I told him that I couldn't believe that my husband's passion was gone. Gone was income that we counted on and the financial situation that was just beginning to make sense. We chose to walk away from the church family that we loved as close family members because it crushed our hearts to drive by the church, let alone worship in the sanctuary. A chunk of my heart felt....gone.

I also wish that I could tell you that I clung to God, that I trusted him completely with this situation and I read my Bible and prayed more, but sadly I did not. I began to resist my Heavenly Father. I began to get angry and my heart began to feel thick and heavy, like stone. I began to believe that God had no other purpose for my husband and I. Life felt chaotic. 

But through all of my actions and emotions, God stayed the same just like his word says he will. 
"For I the Lord do not change." Malachi 3:6 MSG

"Return to me and I will return to you." Malachi 3:7 MSG

All of that changed on the night of my Birthday at a Christian concert after hearing a band called "I Am They". I was gifted concert tickets in January, days before my husband was informed of the budget cuts. The gifter of the tickets was unaware that the concert was on my Birthday, but it was the biggest blessing and the "game changer" of this entire story.  I sat on the third row in the auditorium and I heard each member of the band tell their testimonies and how they "thought" that God would never use them after going through the pain of drug abuse, prison, divorce and addictions. However, God specializes in second chances and I began to realize that He could do that in my life as well.

Slowly, I began to realize that my game was not over and God still has work to do in me and through me. I began to see that God was only pruning me throughout this season. And this pruning was not for punishment, but for rescue.  God was only trimming back the branches, so that other branches could flourish. God is using this season to draw others to him and so that I can also concentrate on other gifts and abilities that my husband and I can use to glorify God. I began to pursue God in a more intimate relationship and life began to make sense again.  My hardened heart began to feel lighter as I began to be in constant companionship with the Heavenly Father once again.

I have also learned to trust what God says in His word.  I have found comfort in Joel 2:25, "He will give you back what you lost..."  So even during those times where I do not see the money coming in, I miss the opportunities and friendships that I had, I remind myself of this verse and know that God is not finished yet and his timing is perfect.

I have also loved always being able to bless others, but I have also learned during this season that it is okay to accept blessings from others....this has been difficult for me.  However, I know the joy that I experience when I am able to deliver a home cooked meal to a sick person or to bless someone financially. When I refuse the blessings that others want to bless me with, I am robbing someone of a joyful blessing. 

As of right now, I do not know what the future holds for my family and I. However, I am learning to praise God during this season and for the pruning for I know that, just like my rhododendrons  we will come back bearing more blossoms next season!

Much Love and Blessings!!

Not Ready to Swim Yet...

During the summer of 2017, I found myself begging God for answers.  Disappointment, exhaustion and the feeling of being genuinely overwhelmed came to a head when it was time for our beach vacation.  My agenda for the week included having lots of fun in the sun with my family, but also re reading "Uninvited" by Lysa TerKeurst and preparing for my first Women's Bible Study that would begin one month later.

I decided to take time away from all forms of social media during the week so that I could truly focus on both the Bible Study, but so that I could also devote time to my family.  I often retreated to the quite balcony to journal and to spend time with God.  I began to demand answers from God. "Why haven't you moved?" "You have all of the power in the Universe to make my life easier and you haven't!" And..."I don't know what you are doing in my life!"  The scripture that God repeatedly sent to me during the week was Psalms 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God." I thought over and over... This is not helping right now! And... This isn't really what I want to hear right now.

As the week went on and the fun in the sun continued, I began to become a little more frustrated until Thursday afternoon.  Late Thursday afternoon, my husband, children and I were on the beach as people began to take down their umbrella's and head in for the day.  Spunky and I sat lazily in our beach chairs watching the ocean and our kids play in the sand beside us.  We suddenly noticed 20 people down the beach in lime green t-shirts. Someone was talking loudly, but I could not make out what they were saying and they began to make two vertical lines with an isle in the middle down the beach.

I became curious and got up from my beach chair and made my way closer.  An older lady noticed me and waved me over and said "Do you want to come and see?" I couldn't see anything and I said "What exactly am I supposed to be looking at?" And she pointed closer to the water where two baby sea turtles were making their way to the ocean.  One of the turtles knew exactly what to do, he pushed through as the waves hit him and continued to edge closer to the ocean with the pound of each wave, seconds later he was in and no longer visible from the sand.

The second sea turtle wasn't as eager to go into the ocean.  With each pound of the wave he backed up and seemed scared.  The lady in front of me looked at me and said something so powerful that I will never forget it "Sometimes we're just not ready to swim yet!" Her words hit me just as hard as the waves hit the second sea turtle. Seconds later someone came up and scooped up the little sea turtle into safety.

At that moment, I knew exactly why God had not fulfilled my dreams "I'm not ready to swim yet!"  I know that God has a plan for me, but He still has work to do in me before He can fulfill His plans for my life.  I know that I am not going to be stuck in this place forever and His plan is the perfect plan. No amount of rushing and pushing isn't going to make his plan come sooner.

So until the Lord reveals His plans for me....I will wait.

Seaturtle picture courtesy of http://zenfrogyeah.tumblr.com/post/16967636753

Friday Favorites 1/5/18!!

Greetings from Antarctica (or where it feels like Antarctica)!  

We survived one of the coldest weeks ever!

To celebrate, I hope that you'll treat yourself to one of your favorites this weekend!

Check out my favorites for the week!

Favorite #1: Revv Coffee

I stumbled upon this gem a couple of weeks ago while coffee shopping.  It cracked me up that it says "No Surrender" on the box and it's absolutely true!!  This coffee is packed with caffeine and it's absolutely wonderful. It is a little more than the Aldi coffee that I normally drink, but I'm never going back to the cheap stuff again!! You can purchase your own box at Wal Mart, Food Lion and even on Amazon!

Favorite #2: Sally Hansen Garageband Nail Polish

I love wearing dark nail polish in the winter months, but I feel like you don't have as many options. I have always felt that the Sally Hansen Hard As Nails seems to last the longest on my nails. While shopping for new nail polish, I found the Garageband color and I am in love. The color coordinates with many of my winter outfits and one polish normally lasts 4 days. I currently have it on my fingernails and my toenails.

Favorite #3 : This Verse

While doing my devotion today (Currently on Day #9 of Sophie Hudson's devotional). I read this verse and I knew that it was for me.  I have been waiting for a breakthrough for quite some time and I needed a reminder that God is still working things out for me. This verse did it for me and I immediately took a picture of it in  my Bible. I still know that He is working for my good and His glory!

Favorite #4 : This Video

I love all of these T Rex videos ( I may or may not have looked for a T Rex suit on Amazon)!! I saw this video on Good Morning America today and it was instantly a favorite! Who knew that T Rex could actually skate??

Have a warm and lovely weekend!

Credits:

Friday Picture: http://richesforrags.tumblr.com/#8

Scripture:

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/da/e2/c1/dae2c17727c8f4d07e02902b00834582.jpg

Merry New Year

It is always challenging finding the time to have Christmas with my side of the family, between work schedules and distance it is always tricky. When we do find the time to get together, we normally travel to my sister's home (3 hours away) with the big back yard and we have a blast. We spent this past weekend celebrating Christmas and New Year's and despite the South being frozen this weekend, we had a great time!

Spunky needed to be at church on Sunday, so my kids and I rode down with parents on Saturday afternoon. Addison and Finn woke up super early because they were ready to gooooo and see their cousins. I loved catching this sweet moment between my Dad and my youngest nephew.

On Sunday, Spunky made his way down after church and we were all so ready to see him. I love that he and my brother in law were friends before they were brother in law's and they still have a close relationship.

We opened gifts on Sunday afternoon. You never know what kind of gift that you're going to open. It could be good, or somewhat humerous! My mom gifted my brother in law with a couple of boxes of his favorite soda!

On Sunday evening, we drove to a popular park to watch a famous Egg (yes, egg) drop and see Christmas lights. During the Christmas season it takes hours of waiting in line to see the Christmas lights, but on New Year's Eve there was no wait. The lights were all so beautiful.

The kids enjoyed the chicken "Cooper" and the Egg drop. They were also gifted New Year's hats, noisemakers (thankfully I wasn't in the minivan with all 5 kids and noisemakers) ! Ha!

The weekend was just wonderful, just not long enough. My nephews are growing up into such mighty men of God and I am so thankful for my sister and brother in law for the great values that they are instilling into these sweet kids. I gave my sister a small picture for Christmas that says "You're the mom that everyone wants" and it's true! She is such a fantastic Mom!

All good things must come to an end and I can't wait to get these sweet kids together again soon!

Until Next Time....