It is funny how some things turn out... I am now 35 years old and I am doing something that means so much to me, but yet was never on my bucket list.
Facebook has such sweet , but haunting memories sometimes. Some are cherished baby pictures of my sweet cherubs covered in spaghetti from 6 years back, but some are the painful scriptures and quotes that I posted just one year ago when I was just trying to survive each day. I survived "church hurt". Church, the place where lives are forever changed where people meet Jesus. Church, where two souls join together in holy matrimony and begin their lives together. The two words together make me gasp...church hurt.
Last year, my world forever changed when my husband and I decided that it was time for us to leave the church that brought life into my world. I was shattered. Many people did not know how to sympathize with me. And I only found a hand full of people who really knew how shattered I really was. One was a friend of a friend, who heard about my story. She herself grew up in ministry and she looked at me and said..."So, your husband lost his job and you lost your church?" As I choked out a muffled "Yes." She sympathetically shook her head and said "it's just not supposed to be that way is it?" So, at this season I really feel like I could have benefited from counseling, but yeah...my husband lost his job, and counseling takes money. So....there's that... It left me to have some intense prayer time usually on the way to the office, sometimes my prayers would be screaming fits with me banging on the steering wheel. But I know that God knows me better than I know myself, so honesty is perfectly acceptable...
But in the midst of the pain, we knew that we were doing what God had called us to do...as painful as it was. We just did not see what that plan exactly was at the moment. We later see that God was simply calling us to take a vacation and to rest, because there were bigger adventures ahead. I picture us on a whitewater rafting trip (not that I've actually ever done that, but I've heard stories and I watch movies). But the adventure begins on some medium size rapids and the people are having their time of their life! The rapids cease and the people are ready to conquer their next set of rapids, but the guide instructs them to rest while they can because the next season of rapids are bigger and stronger... But the people don't want to rest, they just had the time of their life and they're ready to get moving! But all they can do is sit and wait until the boat makes it to the next stage of the river...
Slowly, that season in the river began to take place in the Summer of 2018. My husband always knew that he was called to be a shepherding pastor (the one that you call in the midst of a crisis, the pastor that will sit with you all night in the hospital when you're loved one is taking their last breaths and the one that you call when God is calling you to make a life altering decision or the one who organizes community groups and different ministries inside of the church). My husband always wanted to be a part of a team of pastors because "where two or more are gathered"... It was interesting on the first Sunday that 60+ people decided that they wanted to be a part of something different found themselves in the basement of a local Country Club.
60+ people who had also been "church hurt". People from all different walks of life, different economic backgrounds, different races, people who had traveled from different counties, people who had been homeless or addicted to drugs, people who had no one else. Everyone showed up and the unique thing is, is that God orchestrated a praise team, people who were gifted with children's ministry, people who were gifted with hospitality. God brought us all together to love on each other, to become family to one another and to make disciples. God knew that we wanted to be a church who were accepting of everyone, that we did not want to look down on anyone just because they sin differently than we do. We just wanted to point them to Christ, no matter what! Suddenly, donations began pouring in. People from near and far heard that we were planting a church and they donated money, 300 chairs were donated, sound equipment, children's ministry supplies, offering baskets (because for the first 2-3 months we passed baseball caps or Rubbermaid tubs to collect the offering) and everything that we may need was donated.
It has been almost 9 months since that first Sunday and we are still going strong. On Christmas Eve, we met for the first time at our newly leased location for a Candlelight service. We had hoped that 20 people would show up, but almost every seat was filled. Since the very first service of Haywood Community Church, we have doubled in attendance! 3/4 of our church is involved with a small group and we have 50 children registered in the Children's Ministry.
The unique thing is, is that I have learned that my addiction to Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram was sort of a blessing in disguise. I have been blessed to be in charge of the social media and soon to be blog for the church! Looking back in my journals from December, 2017 I saw an entry where I asked God to please open the door for me to be able to write more and to spend time with my family more. I know that God answered that prayer. I also know that God never wastes a hurt. He wants to restore you. And he always replaces things that he takes away with better things!
