A couple of months ago, my husband and I were blessed with a weekend getaway to "Weekend to Remember". A sweet couple gifted us with the opportunity to attend the conference and we definitely jumped on board. A weekend away without kids? Yes please!
We were allowed to choose which weekend we would like to choose. Some were far away, some were close by, but we chose to attend the weekend in Chattanooga, TN because:
1. It was only 3 hours away
2. We had never been to Chattanooga before
I knew nothing about the city of Chattanooga and this is unusual for me. I normally research destinations from top to bottom before traveling. I am normally a great tour guide. I didn't even know how to get there! Thankfully Siri did!
On the way there, Spunky and I both admitted that we were happy to be going away, but that we thought that our marriage was "just fine." And we didn't really need to attend classes to improve our marriage! Ha! We were just thankful for a weekend away!
We decided to stay at The Chattanoogan Hotel. I knew that I would like the hotel as soon as we pulled my VW in. It was big. It had a spa. And it was located smack dab in the middle of Chattanooga. I noticed that Chattanooga was one of those cities with cute little boutiques, unusual restaurants and a pub or two scattered around. Most people were walking around the city, or riding a bicycle. I knew that I was going to be in love. And it wasn't the most kid friendly place either. I could just see myself crossing streets with little people in tow, whining that they were tired of walking. (I really DO enjoy traveling with my children, but Chattanooga wasn't the place).
We checked into the hotel and decided that it was time to explore. The weather was perfect. It was not hot, not cold and I didn't even need a jacket. As soon as we walked outside, I noticed this :
A bride, in a stunning gown. How appropriate that we noticed this on the weekend of the marriage conference!
Spunky and I spent the next couple of hours, shopping and discovering Chattanooga. The first place that we visited? Anthropologie!! We don't have one in our town and I haven't been to one since I visited Birmingham, AL years ago! We then went to eat at Tupelo Honey's and it was delicious! We also put our phones away, so that we could converse and focus on our marriage (and because you need to do that more than we actually do)!
When going into the lobby of the hotel for our first session that night, you saw two different kinds of couples. The smitten ones, holding hands everywhere they went, looking dreamingly into each other's eyes. And the not so smitten ones, the ones who wouldn't look at each other or who wouldn't speak to one another. I felt like Spunky and I were the in between couple. We were in love with each other, but our days of walking and dreamingly looking into each other's eyes were abnormal because well....we're normally wrangling little people as we walk. Nevertheless, we still loved each other. I was struggling to see what my purpose for attending the conference was. Our marriage wasn't in trouble. Was it to pray for those couples who were struggling? I assumed that it was!
We walked into the conference and sat in the back, until a very tall man and his really tall wife sat in front of us right before the session started. If I am going to be in a class in an uncomfortable chair, then I'm at least going to be able to see. I kindly asked Spunky if he minded ever so badly if we moved. He was hesitant...moreso when I moved us in the second row of the conference. Even so, that's when a guy came up and started talking to my husband about football....Clemson football. He told him that he was at one time the chaplain of Clemson football. My husband's dream job! Spunky was instantly a fan of this guy and then he introduced himself as one of the speakers of the weekend.
I assumed that our communication skills were just fine, but the more that we dug into the session. I realized that I couldn't give myself an A+ in that department.
Our first session was about communication. I assumed that our communication skills were just fine, but the more that we dug into the session. I realized that I couldn't give myself an A+ in that department. I realized that I often kept score (I packed lunches and did homework with the kids, so yeah..it's your turn to do the dishes). It wasn't right....not that I should do all of the household chores, but sometimes I will do more than my husband....sometimes he will do more than me. We should both put 100% into our marriage and everything that goes into it to make it successful. I was thankful that the session ended early enough so that Spunky and I had enough time to complete our first project and talk about the way that we felt after the first session.
On the second day, we were invited to attend a special Pastor's Session in a different conference room. There were 20 or so couple's present in this session and Spunky's speaker friend from the night before led the sessions. We learned so many insights during these sessions. How to juggle ministry and family, how to prevent burn out and to always always have a devotion with your spouse, even though you may be "in the word" all day ministering to others. The speaker mentioned that these sessions were not offered at each weekend, so we felt blessed that we were able to participate!
We had a really long lunch break, so we decided to do some more sight seeing around Chattanooga. It was really warm again and Spunky and I held hands (big smiley face) as we ventured around the city. We found a cute little sandwich shop around a college campus. We did our second project in a corner booth. The food was fantastic (so good that I would drive back just to eat there)! We talked about what we had learned that morning during the sessions and discussed ways that we could balance ministry / family and marriage. One area that we both agreed needed to improve was to incorporate a monthly date night and a couple of weekends away each year. Which is still a work in progress.
Our marriage still isn't perfect, but we're making progress.
The last evening we went on a dinner date and shopping. We had so much fun talking and giggling. It seemed like we were newlyweds again. I felt that The Weekend to Remember helped us to break down walls that we didn't even realize were standing. Since we returned, we have made it a priority to spend time talking to each other each day and to effectively communicate more. Our marriage still isn't perfect, but we're making progress.
The weeks after returning, I was still wondering why God took me to "Weekend to Remember". I know that I grew in my marriage, but I still had a nagging feeling that I was supposed to do something more with the experience. I was given the opportunity to speak to one of the pastor's at our church in the weeks following and told him about the experience. He then asked my husband and I to teach a class beginning in March called "The Art of Marriage". I was thrilled. Thrilled to encourage others. Thrilled to pray for couples during their struggles. Just thrilled.
My marriage still isn't perfect. It probably never will be. But, we are a work in progress. We do not know all of the answers, but our Heavenly Father does and I desire to point others to The Father during those hard times, during the times when he is sleeping on the couch and she is crying herself to sleep in their queen size bed, because I have been there and if it wasn't for those people who pointed me to the heavenly father, I may have already checked out of my marriage.
