A few months ago, I started my car and the dashboard lights lit up like normal, but I noticed that one light did not go away. Brushing it off, I put the car in drive and suddenly a loud dinging sound came. I was alarmed, but I also know nothing about cars. I put the car into park, turned it off and counted to 3. I started the car again and the light went off and there was also no dinging sound. I called my husband who said that he would come by and look at my car before driving home that afternoon. The car checked out fine to him, so he said that we would simply "keep an eye on it."
A week later, the entire thing happened again, but my method of turning the car off and counting to 3 before restarting it worked again, so I continued to brush this off. I got my oil checked a few weeks later and everything seemed okay with my car, so I brushed all of these signals off as "old age" and continued about my business.
A couple of months go by and the warning light is now doing this daily. Every morning when the car is started, the light is going off, but just first thing in the morning. It becomes really annoying, but my husband is now checking everything a couple of times per week, all seems well. It's just frustrating. He continues to nag me to take it into the dealership, but I greatly despise having a huge car repair bill, the car is getting older and I'm just waiting for the right deal on the perfect one. This one runs just fine...as long as the annoying dinging sound doesn't drown out the music!
My method of turning the car off and then on again is working just fine, until one weekend we are vacationing in Chattanooga and it happens. The dinging and the sensors begin going off while the car is driving on an interstate. I'm panicked. I'm on an interstate, no exit nearby in the center lane of 6 lanes of traffic. The dinging erupts into a loud ekkkkkkkk!!!! It's definitely drowning out the music. Sweat begins to form on my neck as I prepare for my VW to explode. We finally pull off of the interstate. My husband assumes that the oil is low and he begins to add oil, into whatever holds oil in the car (seriously, I'm clueless about cars)! We start the car up and all is well. No dinging. No warning light.
The next morning, my husband kindly goes out before breakfast to get the oil and stuff moving , so that we could avoid the nagging questions from my parents and sister about what's going on with our car. He even goes above and beyond to look for an oil leak under the car and lays down on the pavement. All checks out well. We go on about our adventures and mid drive to our first destination, the light and sensors all go hay wire again! This. Is. Insane.
The lights and sensors are going off all weekend long. Thankfully we have avoided all of the nagging questions though. We are constantly lagging behind the group to re start our car at gas stations, fast food restaurants and just praying that we make it home in the VW on Sunday. However, even despite the warning light and the illuminating sensor, the car seems to be running just fine.
On the way home, when the sensor erupts in the loud squeal one more time, my husband says "Oh, I wonder if your antifreeze is low!" We had assumed that it was always the oil level (seriously, we're not car geniuses by any means). We drive the rest of the way home, arriving safely. When we get home, he jumps out, raises the hood and notices that indeed my antifreeze level is very low. He fills it up, starts the car and everything is fine. The light or sensor has not gone off since.
This all reminds me of a time, about a year ago when I had "warning lights" going off in my life. I was getting angry and frustrated at everything around me. Granted, this was during a very stressful season of my life. We had just began to plant our church, my Grandmother was in her last days on Earth, both of my children were beginning new schools and the juggling of childcare, working and my husband's business were getting the best of me. However, little things and big things were making me very emotional! I wore my emotions all over all of me!
Everything came to a head one day when I received a card in the mail from my precious mentor, Debbie. It was a simple card, but she wrote that she was praying for me, that she noticed that I was on edge and that we needed to have coffee soon. We sat down a couple of evenings later and I unloaded everything that I was going through. I ugly cried. I talked for 20 minutes straight about all of the stress and pain that I was going through. I told her that life wasn't fair. I told her that I had no purpose. I sobbed and she listened.
After I had nothing else to say, she deeply encouraged me to keep hanging on "even if it was by the hem of his garment". She reassured me of all of the gifts that God had blessed me with. She told me that she loved me, but she encouraged me that I needed to remain in the scriptures, especially during these challenging times. I told her that I didn't have time to be in the scriptures, that life was too chaotic right now. Her eyes got big and she grabbed my hands as her mouth opened half way. She said "you have got to be in the scriptures now, more than any other time!" "God has a purpose and a plan for you and you have got to remain in the scriptures! No matter how crazy your life is, keep your eyes on him because he is your consistency!" "He is constant and you can go through anything when you remain in him." Debbie and I finished our coffee and hugged goodbye. I had another ugly cry on the drive home.
The next morning it was so hard to get back into the swing of doing my quiet time on a daily basis. It had been since our beach vacation, a couple of weeks beforehand, which felt like a year ago. I fumbled, but eventually I settled on the First 5 study of Psalms. I got my journal out and prayed. It still felt awkward, but I promised Debbie that I would again get into my groove. The next morning it felt less awkward and before the week had ended, I was back into my old groove. And life felt more peaceful, even though things had gotten more crazy. My Grandmother was not expected to make it through the weekend and my children were to start school on Monday. I clung to my Bible and devotional throughout the weekend and time at the nursing home. I am not sure how I would have made it through without them. When Nanny passed on Monday, my journal was with me.
I am so thankful for the friends who know that they can rub you with sandpaper and see that by doing that, they are making you new.
xoxo
