Disclaimer...This has been one of the hardest blog posts that I have ever written. Leaving our "old church" was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever had to make. I have laid awake in my bed for many nights, trying to put the words together for this post. I did not want to write this. However, I continued to feel God urging me to write this. Much love and thanks for reading!
It was Sunday and I got out of my car with my coffee cup in hand and I was greeted by our friend Mr. R on his golf cart in our church parking lot. This is one of the many things that my children loved about our church. Being rode into church on the golf cart. As I noticed the beautiful sunshine and how it reflected off of the mountains, I immediately thought "God is so good" and I reflected the many changes that have taken place over the past year.
A year ago on this Sunday, we were still in church. However, it wasn't the right church for us. It was for a season, but like seasons...they change. We loved our little country church that we actively went to for over 8 years. We worshiped with family, it was not uncommon for a cousin, grandparent or aunt or uncle to be the Sunday School teacher of my children. It was also a common sight to see little ones being rocked to sleep of a family member, or someone as close as family in the church choir. The small country church was full of love. Our pastor loved his congregation, often times you would see a group gathered at our pastor's home to split and stack wood for the winter months. We would also frequently gather at the soup kitchen to serve those who were less than fortunate. So, you may ask...why did you leave a church filled with such love and harmony?
To be honest, I'm not quite sure myself. However, I do know that like puzzle pieces that sometimes get warped when my children have played with them too long, they get warped. They have a hard time being put back together. The puzzle piece of my family started not to fit quite right. We still felt love, we were still being fed the gospel, but we wanted more of something and things started to feel like they didn't fit just quite right anymore.
I remember the Sunday that my husband suggested that we visit the church not far from our home. I had quickly dismissed this suggestion many many times because "they watch the church on a screen, how is that any different than enjoying the service from the comfort of my living room?" He would always shrug his shoulders and walk away. However, on this Sunday I didn't dismiss his suggestion. I only said "okay, we can try it, but if F gets upset walking into his classroom, I'm leaving." My husband agreed and off we went....to a different church.
We drove up the big hill and found a parking spot and quickly a lady in capri pants ran out to greet us...hugging us! We received other numerous hugs and warm smiles as we walked into the door. You could feel love and I felt my anxiety of a "different church" leaving my body. We escorted A to her kids classroom where she found numerous other children around her age playing games and a teacher, Mrs. P gathering materials to teach the group of children. She warmly introduced herself and Addison began being immersed in the activities that were provided. We told her goodbye, but she didn't even turn around to hear us as she began to make new friends.
Then it was off to F's classroom. He ran right in! I think that they had him with the play dough. He ran right up, took a seat and he was sucked in as well. His teacher warmly smiled and promised to find us if he needed us. I looked at my husband as we walked down the hallway to the sanctuary and we both agreed that in all of the years that we have been in church, our son has NEVER just walked into a strange classroom without wailing for us to stay with him.
We were warmly welcomed in the sanctuary. We loved the contemporary worship music and all of the young families that began to trickle into the sanctuary. People our age. We quickly stood and began to clap our hands to the music and I even began to cry at how powerful I could feel the love of God in the sanctuary.
For years, my husband and I have wanted to feel accepted and to have friends around our age. We occasionally were invited to cook outs, but other than people that we met at work, we didn't have many people that we could call up and ask to "hang out". While we had a few people in our lives that we could do this. We longed to sit in a small group with others our age and receive Godly advice, wisdom from the older generation who has been in our shoes. We also longed for our children to have a community of friends and activities for them while my husband and I could worship and not have to worry if my children decided that it was time to go during the middle of a worship service. I could slowly see where we would fit into this church...
As the service began, it was so powerful that I quickly forgot that I was watching it on a screen. Especially when the pastor at this church stood at the end to speak. I shed many many tears that day. It had been a long time since I had experienced the love of God so powerfully in my life.
As the week went on, I received a phone call from the pastor and cards from two people telling me how much they enjoyed me how much they enjoyed meeting me and that my children were well behaved....whoa!
I was dreading the next Sunday. I didn't want to leave our old country church, but this new church was so intriguing. My daughter asked numerous times during the week if we could "go to the new church." She loved all of the other children in her class. My husband admitted that he loved the service and that he would like to attend at least once again. I agreed with him.
A year later, I will admit that leaving our "old church" was very very difficult. It was hard to leave people that I have grown close to over an 8 year period. However, looking back I knew that in the months prior to leaving that I felt that something was missing from my life. I wanted to grow in knowledge and see God's love in my life. I wanted a community of other people that I could call on if needed and I wanted people that needed me as well. I have found that in my church. I can see my children growing up with their church friends. That's not something that I could have received from watching the service on tv...
We received a community!
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