One of the first surprises that I remember was in November of 2002.
We had been dating for only a few weeks when he invited me to go to his (ginormous) church to hear a famous pastor, Dr. David Jeremiah. To be honest, this was apparently a big deal. However, I had no clue who this famous pastor was. I had gone to church all of my life, but that was it. I didn't watch pastor's on tv for fun, I didn't listen to Christian music and I didn't go to church more than I had to. However, I was totally smitten with my new boyfriend at the time and if he invited me to church, then I was going to be there!
I remember sitting in the passenger seat of his red sports car wearing a purple sweater, grey mini skirt, black tights and mary jane shoes. Driving up to the church we were stopped in a traffic jam. Yes, a traffic jam...going into the church parking lot. This was something that never happened when I went to my small country church of 100 people on a good day. We drove up and the church was gigantic!!! I had never been in a church this huge, I felt like I was the size of an ant walking into the beautiful lobby. That's when the surprise hit me, when he said "My parents saved us a seat". I stopped walking, turned my head and said "Your parents??" "Your parents are here? I've never met your parents." Just so you know, I wasn't calm, cool and collective and my eyes were probably the size of saucers. He replied "Oh, well...sorry. Do you need me to give you a second?" "Nope. Not at all, let's do this." Sounding way more confident than I actually was.
We walked so far down the auditorium, that I was convinced that we were going to be sitting on the front row, when I spotted a middle aged lady with a bobbed haircut, turned around in her chair watching me walk in. When we made eye contact, she stood and smiled and outstretched her arms to give me a big hug. (This was definately different than any parental meeting that I had ever endured during my 19 years of life and I had met several of my boyfriends mothers). Sitting 3 seats down from her was a middle aged man that was slightly bald wearing glasses. This was Spunky's father, his name was John Goodman (not the famous actor). Since we were very early to the service, Spunky's Dad proceeded to tell me his entire life story and ask me every detail of my life. His mother frequently leaned over and told him to shut up, to stop asking me questions and she called him "Margaret" several times. I had no clue what was going on, or who this Margaret person was(Spunky's grandmother, who loves to get to know people), but this entire situation was making me wish that I had applied more deoderant.
I got through the evening with grace, but not without an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner and another round of hugs from Spunky's parents. Little did I know that this man, John Goodman would make a huge impact on my life in such a short period of time.
It turns out, that Spunky's father had a heart condition and actually almost died several years earlier. Through lots and lots of prayer and a miracle he recovered. However, he still had to follow up with his cardiologist routinely and had to quit working as a football coach, a job he loved.
Even though his life had dramatically changed over the past several years, he was one of the most selfless men that I had ever met. John spent his days serving others. He was a huge impact at the church. He greeted in a red blazer every Sunday morning, counted the offering every Monday morning, went and greeted visitors on Tuesday evenings and was at the church to pray, encourage others and even served food when needed. When my husband and I were dating, we would frequently volunteer at a Christian coffee house on Friday and Saturday evenings until after midnight. I lived an hour away from Spunky, but his parents refused to allow me to make the long commute home after our weekend volunteer dates at the coffee house. So, they allowed me to stay in their home each Friday and Saturday nights. John was always sure that they had my favorite cereal each Saturday morning! His last name was Goodman, and he was truly a good man.
Shortly after our engagement, John's health took a turn for the worst. He began to experience some of the same symptoms that he had in years past. Spunky and I worried that he may not be around for our wedding in December. Many people told us that we were getting married too soon, but we knew that we were meant to be together and it was one of John's final wishes to witness his son getting married. So what, if we were getting married a little early and I was still in school? We wanted him to be there!
On our wedding day, my now husband dined with his Dad in a local restaurant for one of the very last times. My husband still cannot go into that restaurant on Main St without getting misty eyed. It was there where my husband gifted John a pocket watch and his Dad gave him some final advice before our 6:00 wedding.
As I was getting ready in the church on our wedding day, it was John who came and knocked on the door and handed me a rose from my future husband moments before I walked down the aisle. I was thrilled that he had made it to our wedding day, but his skin looked thin and grey. Looking back at the pictures, I'm not sure how he made it through that day and even made sausage balls for the reception!
When we returned from our honeymoon on Christmas Eve, it was obvious that John was starting to fade even more. Just before Valentines Day, John was admitted to a big hospital in Atlanta and placed on a heart transplant list. Many of our newlywed weekends were spent traveling to Atlanta on Friday afternoons and staying until Sunday afternoon. Leaving on Sunday was always challenging because you never knew what was going to happen during the week. Our cellphones were always charged and on us in case a heart became available and our gas tanks were always full to make the commute if needed. We spent many nights in a Ronald McDonald house, where my husband would spend all day on Saturday with his Dad and I would sit in the hospital waiting room visiting with his family and (try to) study for my last semester in college.
By Easter, John started to fade more and more. We drove to Atlanta a couple of times in the middle of the night because we were told that he may pass away. We prayed for a miracle, we prayed for God's will...at times, I didn't even know what to pray for. However, just before 5AM on April 29, 2004 we received a phone call from Spunky's mom telling us to drive to Atlanta as fast as we could because they were disconnecting John from the machines at 8:00 AM.
I remember getting dressed as quickly as I could, getting into my grey Nissan Sentra and turning on the hazard lights and driving as fast as I could. We stayed silent throughout the entire commute until we hit rush hour in Atlanta. Traffic like i've never seen....6 whole lanes of traffic gridlocked. I prayed over and over, "God, you've gotta let us get there in time, you just have to." I pulled into the first lot that I saw at the big hospital, the valet lot. We were the tenth or so car in line for the valet station, but I got out of my car threw my keys at some random man and ran as fast as I could to the Cardiac ICU.
We arrived in the waiting room out of breath, but in time. The doctor had run into traffic as well and was running late that morning. This is the part of the story where I screwed up....BIG time. My husband wanted to see his Dad for one last time, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't go in and see him like that, I didn't want that memory etched into my head. However, my husband needed me and I waited in the waiting room.
The days after John's passing are mostly a blur, but I will never forget hearing my husband sob onto my chest when we turned out the lights to go to sleep that night. He howled and ached for his earthly father and there was nothing that I could do to comfort him, except to hold him and pray. I felt like a kid again (well, I would say that I still was at the age of 20). I had no clue what to do in this situation. I went along with everything, I stood beside my husband at the front of our church during the visitation, I held his hand during the graveside and memorial service and I greeted family members that I had never met. The other thing that I will never forget is the song "I Can Only Imagine" that was sung at the memorial service. I had heard that song a thousand times before, but it took on new meaning that day. I still cannot listen to that song without picturing the day that Spunky and his Dad will be reunited in heaven.
Since John's passing, a lot of things have changed. However, Spunky and I always look at each other during special moments of our children's lives and wonder what their Big Daddy would do if he were here. We sometimes have to take a step back to wipe away a tear coming down our cheek as we remember the man that is missing. However, we yearn to keep his memory alive in our house. Prior to his death, he wrote a letter to "his grandchildren yet to be born" and in the letter he describes his love for them and to always put Christ first in their lives. Pictures of John can be found in our home and Addison even has a pillow made from one of John's favorite t-shirts. During football season, you will see Spunky wear an old coaching sweatshirt that was owned by his Dad. I love seeing him talk to our kids about his days on the sidelines with his Dad. Big Daddy may have passed on from this life to the next, but our children know who he is!
I also know that everything happens for a reason and that God still performs miracles. I know this because shortly after John's passing two people came to know Christ, two people that John spent 20+ years praying for.
When Spunky's mom was cleaning out some of John's belongings after his passing, she found that while John was home alone and she was teaching school that he wrote poetry & letters to all of his family members. The following is a poem that he wrote:
Heart Transplant
God changed my heart of stone
I was lost and all alone
Transformed, loved and made a new
God's mercy and grace did renew
This heart now stands on the Rock
A part of the Masters flock
Lost and seperated far from the throne
May heart did suffer and groan
God transplanted my heart
Praise His name, He gave me a new start
Sin tight grip was on this life
O the torment, O the strife
Bound in darkness and blinded to the light
Jesus came and gave me new sight
God changed my heart of stone
I was lost and all alone
Transformed, loved and made a new
God's mercy and grace did renew
My heart now stands upon the Rock
A part of the Masters Flock
Soft, pliable, tender and receptive
A new heart of flesh became effective
God's work revealed in me
Changed life, changed motives, changed purpose, can't you see
New direction, new love, new power
Holy Spirit came in me that hour
Fresh new start and sin washed away
No more to roam or stray
God changed my heart of stone
I was lost and all alone
Transformed, loved and made a new
God's mercy and grace did renew
My heart now stands upon the Rock
A part of the Master's flock
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